Go see Predators, and then again, immediately thereafter!

I just learned that Despicable Me beat Predators in the box-office over the last weekend (yeah, I'm not on the ball). This is outrageous. I will say it plain as day, that this is utter bullshit. I am not going to yell, or even italicize the point, because this idea drives me beyond lividity (new word!) to quiet, murderous contempt.

I understand family movies generally do good, I like family movies, own a few. But Predators is so full of epic.fucking.win that there is no reason this movie shouldn't be the outstanding hit of the summer (until this week's Inception, hopefully). Despicable Me is probably heartwarming. But it does not interest me, does not make me laugh at the trailers, and I'm frankly not that impressed by Steve Carrell. I think he's funny, not the shit. And 3D? Avatar was cool, because it was a movie with a field of depth. I'm not impressed with yo-yo's to the face.

Predators drops some strangers on an alien world full of monsters of all kinds and they have to work together (or not) to survive. These relationships have their ups and downs, the tide turns one way and another, there's a happy ending that is quickly quelled. This is an action movie worth sitting through! Not CG hogwash we've been fed since 2001! I love the Matrix but it really pushed special effects and Hollywood-types thought it was the effects that made the movie. WRONG FUCKERS! It was epicness that won me over and Predators hit the nail on the head!

I won't review Predators, I'm too late for that, but I will tell you that Predators deserves your dollars. I remember when Predator, Aliens, and Terminator were my barometers for awesome. Here's a story, here's a good-guy, bad-guy, set pieces that fit within those confines and practical effects that titillated the mind, not sparking the "FAKE!" reaction in me. I played out scenarios on the playground from these movies, they shaped the sci-fi fan I would become and inspired the story-telling I would one-day portray. Predators hearkens back to these 80's bombasticisms (new word!) and adds it's own flavor that places it firmly in the continuance of a story, a sequel. Not a remake or reboot. Hollywood needs to keep awesomeness of this magnitude pumping through the pipelines. And they can only see that if YOU the viewing public demand it!

Comments

Step Right Up