Springer-ized & Maury-ed

A few days before Thanksgiving last week my brother Jeremy sent me a message on Facebook, "Hey whats up man! i dont know if you know this or not but we have a half sister named Jessica who really wants to talk to you." Now, as I'm sure you can imagine and empathize, I was all WTF?!? After a little communication back and forth and accepting a friend-request of said sister's cousin, I began to learn a history I had frankly never considered.

My mother and biological father were young when they had Jeremy and I. When my mother was pregnant with me, my bio-father's parents convinced him that I was the product of an affair. Depending on who's telling the story, things get cloudy here, my bio-father, Mark, beat my mother, endangering my life in utero. Upon my birth, some sort of custody battle ensued, my mother's explanation was along the lines that they attempted to take me and run her out of town, but somehow she ended up leaving Jeremy behind and keeping me. Later, when my dad (the guy who adopted me) opted to adopt Jeremy, it turned out Irene had taken basically a payoff to leave Jeremy behind. The truth and the lie are equally bad, and as a result, neither is easy to swallow. Regardless, Irene always told me Mark was my biological father.

Jeremy had grown up with Mark and his grand-parents, and so, had always been told I was only his half-brother. He had known about this half-sister for some time, but until recently, never told me about it on account of he wasn't aware I was Mark's son. After seeing each other this last summer, he saw the family resemblances, and thanks to the internet, this sister was able to contact him recently and wanted to get into contact with me. He passed her number along to me.

Before I could call her, Jeremy drops another bomb, I have another half-brother, also named Justin. BWAH? Seriously?

I finally talk to Jessica, my half-sister from my bio-father, or as she adequately put it, our shared sperm donor. She found out her "dad" wasn't her biological father when she was 14, and understandably upset and curious, wanted to meet this man who was her real father. That was when she learned about Jeremy and a half-brother named Justin. She would eventually learn the circumstances concerning her conception from her mother as well.

Visiting family in Mountain Home, Arkansas, Jessica's mother was with her husband in a bar where they met another fun-loving couple and they all started to flirt with each other. Swinger's I guess. This is Mark and his spouse, whom Jessica thinks is my own mother, but some of the timelines don't exactly mesh. Mark made a move on Jessica's mother and over the course of time, Jessica's mother left her husband for Mark, and conceived Jessica. Mark's parents convinced him Jessica wasn't his daughter...that sounded familiar. And run off, Jessica's mother went back to her ex-spouse who took her back and raised Jessica as his own.

When Jessica spoke with Mark again more recently, she pressed him for info on her half-brother Justin. He said he had met him once and had been invited to a wedding, but Justin's mother put a stop to that not wanting Mark in her son's life at all. Sound's like Mark's M.O., but that's not me, I've never met Mark, and Mark was probably telling Jessica about the second Justin, and only by coincidence was she able to contact me.

I had always known Mark was my bio-father, but considering his violence towards my mother and his family's denial of my existence, I had/have no interest in meeting the man. Neither did I ever wonder after his life. Like I said, he was young when I was born, so it only stands to reason that he would have had other relationships, and possibly other children. All my life, I recall Irene saying she had always wanted a daughter. Looking back on that with this new information, I wonder if she wasn't aware of Jessica and somehow jealous.

I can't hold anything against Jessica, no one chooses their parents, so I've decided to be open towards a relationship with this younger new sister I have. Somewhere out there is another brother...with my same name. Should he come out of the woodwork as well, I'll be open to him, but save for my brother Jeremy, none of us really have anything actually tying us together, considering Mark never made any effort towards our lives or upbringing. Best to leave sleeping dogs lie.

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