Lucky in Life - Crappy in Career

Look, I'm going to tell you a sob story of a relatively charmed existence where the woe is only on me. I'm asking for help, a handout, without much to offer in return, but I figure, it doesn't hurt to try.

Let me get this out of the way: I'm asking for $35,000 on GoFundMe to eliminate my credit card debt (and cover taxes and fees of such a donation) so that I can be free to take any job without worrying if I'll be able to pay my bills on time. I'm seeking to be out from under the weight of debt so that I can breathe new life into my writing and perhaps one day even make a career out of my art. I write horror and science fiction. If you're willing to help me out, then I want to be given the opportunity to entertain you. Maybe you can even be a character or source of inspiration yourself with your donation—if you feel so generous. Maybe even get a first edition, signed and personalized! But to really feel like I can put my whole brain and heart into my writing, I need that imp off of my back that is the money-monster.

Yesterday, after being on spring break vacation with my daughter, I returned to work, a Monday morning in March 2017, and I wasn't even able to clock-in for the day. I was informed I was being placed on probation and would need to go home and await further information from HR. I was offered to pack up my personal belongings I might want to immediately bring home awaiting the all-clear from HR. I didn't have much at my desk, some photos in frames, a couple of bobble-heads of Darth Vader and Spider-Man...knick-knacks you expect on someone's desk.

Halfway home, my cellphone begins ringing. I'm not in the habit of answering my phone while driving, but considering what had just transpired, I managed to pull over and answer. I was being asked to come right back, "sorry about the inconvenience." Getting back into that meeting room, there were now two additional people to the two that had initially put me on probation. I was informed of exactly what I had done to be placed on probation, a thing I had suspected: I had accidentally sent a work related spreadsheet to my personal email when I tried to send myself writing ideas I kept in a folder on my computer desktop. For this transgression I was to be terminated immediately. No warning, no counseling, not even the probation; after five years of employment, fired, full-stop.

This was my mistake, I own that, but that's all it was, a mistake. Do I feel shocked and maybe severely treated? Sure; but in this day and age where data breaches can break a company, I compromised my employer through my reckless, thoughtless action. Of course, going forward, I know now to be extra careful not to mix business and personal items and especially to be careful of using work email to conduct personal business.

So that's that, I'm now unemployed. The real rub? This isn't the first job I've been let go from. It's not even the second or third. Since 2002 I have been laid off or let go four times and terminated twice on charges not exactly reflective of my actual workmanship or ethics. In the last ten years, I've had three jobs, and I've been let go from each one. I have not voluntarily left a position since 2003 when I was working nights and found a day job (which I would eventually be laid off from).

In some ways, I'm lucky to have continued to find work despite those disappointments, each successive job paying just a little better than the last and keeping me afloat. I am looking and fully intend to go back to work. I applied for three different jobs just last night. I have my hat in the ring with a temp agency. I expect to go back to work.

In these last several years, though, I have gotten married, started the process of adopting of my step-daughter, who has only ever known me as her dad, I've also been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety. Being unable to hold down a job probably contributes to that quite a bit. In the last six months alone, I have lost two dogs and a cat to sudden and unexpected health problems. Events surely not helping with depression or anxiety, or even I daresay, clarity of mind in the workplace. It has been a brutal winter.

So that brings us up to me asking for your help. Through the years, both in losing jobs, poor decision making and mishandling my own funds, I have wracked up a year's salary's worth of debt. I've never been late and I've been lucky so far as to never had a lein or collection put out on me. But I'm getting tired of struggling. I'm tired of worrying about living paycheck to paycheck. I'm tired of feeling like I'm just on the verge of being a burden to my family and friends.

I have stories to tell, dark and fantastical stories from the depths of the Earth to the limitless void between stars. If, if, I could break these chains of debt and focus more on my writing than on how I'm going to pay  this or that bill, I might very well produce the next great novel or series that burns through the charts. If you're interested in what I produce, I do have examples for sale on Amazon, short and long stories, in digital, paperback, and even audiobooks, that you can find here. On that page you can also find links to a blog that I sometimes write in.

I'm asking for your help and donation to support my craft. It's a long game investment. One I may only be able to repay in gratitude. But if this works, if I can climb out of this hole with your support, you can be sure that I'll be grateful and eager to pay it forward should I find myself capable in the future.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

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