Ups & Downs
I have been on vacation since Thanksgiving. A "staycation" really, today marks my last day. For the most part I really just stayed home, doing not a lot.
That's partly the weather. It's been gray and cool all week. But also due to a general lack of funds or means. There's not a lot to do when the weather is shit and you're suddenly overcome with an abundance of lethargy and anxiety.
See, Tuesday before Thanksgiving, the Daughter announced she had a boyfriend. I won't wax on that, to save us all the embarrassment. I will say there was an intense terror and helplessness that came with it that hung a shadow over my days. I don't mean to sound crass. Honestly, I want for her happiness, but I fear for her safety. Also, I feel like I've lost my "little girl." However, despite this fear, the ANT and I have been open and honest with each other. I've tried to provide the guidance and warning she needs. I can only hope and pray for an entirely positive and healthy experience for her.
Through a jocular conversation with her, I managed to tease out that she views me as her hero. Every good dad should fit that role, but hearing it from her sparked inspiration. I should really live up to that.
So, that evening and the following day, I double-timed the work on revising my novel. I wrapped it up and resubmitted the manuscript to an interested party. After that I gave my newest short story another once over and put it up for all to read (http://circussized.blogspot.com/2014/12/she-speaks-to-me.html?m=1). Writing is what I do, so it's what I should do.
In the past couple of weeks, my short story Eating Crow was accepted into a horror anthology benefitting cancer research. The details I have on that in the future I'll release as I learn them.
My vacation has seen mindless self indulgence, as well. I've been playing Hyrule Warriors and Smash Brothers on the Wii U. Some Scribblenauts, Skyrim, and Antichamber on PC. Watched plenty of Adventure Time. I did share a beer and some gaming with my buddy Dave.
But really, this week has marked a break in my day job. As I go back to work tomorrow morning I'll be taking on a new job. Not entirely dissimilar to what I've been doing, I will however be removed from customer service and the cluster that is "audit season" gearing up even now. With a tiny bump in pay and the hopes of lower stress, I'll be closing out 2014 with high hopes. 2015 stands to be a positive year.
I hope than I can live up to it, live it up, and maintain and exceed my daughter's perception of me.